Monday, September 5, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Im not sure why but my computer just shut itself down.
It worries me that there was a reason it did this, but I'm obviously thankful it did. It gave me a message that something might be dangerous and needed to be shut down. I don't know what might be dangerous but lets just hope it doesn't do that again.
New setup
This new setup is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I normally don't care about anything like this, but I'm not going to lie. I had uninstalled the old blogger because I wasn't using it enough/ it didn't have too many options on the application. This one however, cathes my attention. I finally got a tumblr and love it, even though it's annoying as hell to reblog somethig and then have to scroll to the very botton again. ( or wherever I was ) we will see where this application takes me, and if I start to find people on here/follow them. We will se.
For now, it's back to work for me! I seriously work way too much and it's starting to make me crazy!!! I've been singing at work all day like it's my fricked profession.... I swear I can acuallu sing well though!!!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Everything changes SO DRASTICALLY and sometimes its for the better. I'm able to look at your posts and see her name and not mine and be okay with it.
ok this has everything to do with the fact that I've been able to move on myself and find happiness again.
but then BOOM it comes at me like nothing else I ever thought would come at me. I understand, just like I understand everything all the time. but God Damn it sucks!!! I don't know what I did to always be in something like this. I don't know why I always hang on also.
ok this has everything to do with the fact that I've been able to move on myself and find happiness again.
but then BOOM it comes at me like nothing else I ever thought would come at me. I understand, just like I understand everything all the time. but God Damn it sucks!!! I don't know what I did to always be in something like this. I don't know why I always hang on also.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
moods have changed drastically
I didn't believe it when I saw it, just three weeks ago. Everything I had be so strong about, fought for and asked for, it was now for someone else. Go away for one week and come back with your heart full again. Full of emotion and feeling, no hurt or pain. I'm happy for you, I really am.
You say " you wouldn't understand " how it came to be in just one week. Yes, it was a few more weeks than one, but when I fell in love with you, I was there, right? I was part of something brand new with someone I never met before then, I can understand my own situation, so why not this one? Truth is, I do understand, far too well. Just like I understood everything else you were going through that I got involved in. I understand things before you do, and it kills me to have you so blinded by someone to not understand what I do, until they leave you for a man....
Well guess what... I've done it too. I've let go of my problems in the past, I've allowed myself to accept the future for what it is, I've become happier than I have been in a long, long time. I've built something that's indescribable and amazing, something I never want to let go of. I've mentioned you and what I felt for you, even how it got there. I'm using what I learned from my relationship with you to better myself and make the best out of this new ship, shall I say. I'm going to set sail off the shore of sorrow and sail into the unknown, letting all my insecurities float until they're captured by something magical.
You say " you wouldn't understand " how it came to be in just one week. Yes, it was a few more weeks than one, but when I fell in love with you, I was there, right? I was part of something brand new with someone I never met before then, I can understand my own situation, so why not this one? Truth is, I do understand, far too well. Just like I understood everything else you were going through that I got involved in. I understand things before you do, and it kills me to have you so blinded by someone to not understand what I do, until they leave you for a man....
Well guess what... I've done it too. I've let go of my problems in the past, I've allowed myself to accept the future for what it is, I've become happier than I have been in a long, long time. I've built something that's indescribable and amazing, something I never want to let go of. I've mentioned you and what I felt for you, even how it got there. I'm using what I learned from my relationship with you to better myself and make the best out of this new ship, shall I say. I'm going to set sail off the shore of sorrow and sail into the unknown, letting all my insecurities float until they're captured by something magical.
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Friday, July 29, 2011
My Family
Is crazy. No matter what, there's always a friggin argument about something. I've been on vacation with them the past week... and its been something not out of the ordinary that's for sure! Every day is something different. It just makes me want to move out more and more. I want to start my own life with my own family sooner than later. I know this isn't possible though, seeing how I'm turning 23 on Monday, far too young to have my own family. Other than my age, I still have two more years of school to put myself through. I wanted to earn at least three thousand this summer to pay off last semester and go back in the fall, but that simply wasn't going to happen. I have to drive at least half an hour every morning and then again every evening to get out to Waltham to my jobs. That's at least seven hours of driving a week for work, never mind when I go to a friends house that's at least 45 minites away. I know my lifestyle costs more than I can afford, but it's the least I can do for myself since I've worked almost everyday of my life since I was 14... now if only I had something to show for my hard word other than ex girlfriends closets and a new phone...
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Thursday, July 28, 2011
Poolside<3
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Par 2 : d2 t3 m4. Par 2: m2 d3 t2 par 2: m4 d5 t2 par 2: d1 t2 m2. Par 2: d2 m2 t2 par 2: t5 m2 d2 par2: d2 m2 t5 par:2 m2 t2 d2 par 2: m2 d2 t5 par2: d5 t5 m5 par3: t3 m3 d3 par3: t5 m3 d2 par2: d2 t2 m5 par 2: t3 d2 m2 par2 m4t4d4 par 2: t2 d 3 m 2 par 3: t3 d5 m3 par 2: t2 d2 m5.
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school urges
I've always been one to really enjoy being in school learning and challenging myself. I'm currently on vacation enjoying time off from my four jobs, but even still I am absolutely bored most of the time!! Today I started thinking about how badly I want to be back in school. Then I thought about that time is about 4 months away, since I do not have 3 thousand dollars to pay last semester off and return for this upcoming fall. I had every plan to work four jobs and earn the money I need to continue right in the fall, but I'm afraid all the driving I do ia taking away from being able to do this. I spoke to my boss at Bertuccis about needing more hours and he told me whatever I want I can have. So I'm hoping I can get a bunch of doubles so I can just work all day there and not have to break my day up and go out to Waltham every single day. As much as I enjoy the driving time to myself...my bank account is a little lonely.... we will see.
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Getting back on my feet...
I was able to walk for a bit through a nice area, listening to the bugs make whatever noises they make. There was a small blue butterfly that started flying next to me once I passed by. It was very cute :)
The picture is the road I was able to travel down. Much better than my hilly trip on Sunday!!
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Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Vacation
So Im on vacation and although the first few hours being here was terrible, its gotten better. :) Today started at the pool, then we moved to a lake up the street. I got a lot of color laying on my float floating around :) As soon as we got back, it started thunderstorming. I got a small video of it.. quite scary!! I've been inside watching tv for about an hour now, and I'm bored as heck!!!! Someone give me something to do!
I find myself going back to this dating site just searching around. I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to find someone worth my time. I try every day to not think about her and how she is finally happy with someone else. I am happy she is happy, and my anger isn't so much about how it's not with me, just the fact it happened so fast and I had to find out throug facebook. Just like all the rest of her friends. Most of which didn't even know she was gay. I just thought I was better than that. I thought I meant more to her but I guess my thoughts aren't what they should be. I wonder if I should even continue thinking anymore or if I should just give up. I don't want to but I don't know what else to do.
I've been hanging out with some friends and there's definitely some thing there, but I don't know if its something that should be acted upon or not. Age and siuations pose problems in a few cases. Its not something that's terribly inappropriate but its still leading to uncertainty. I remember when I was in one of the situations where I'm in love but not allowed to be with the girl. I can't give advice and say give up and move on, because if you have the slightest chance to be with them, you should never let go of them. Ever. Until that day comes where they move away and you'll never see them again. Then you should let go, just to be sane, just to be able to live.
And for another situation, if they cheat once, it'll probably happen again. I can't say drop them the first time without giving them a chance, but my goodness, I hope it doesn't happen again. Not all people are the same, but pretty close to it. On the other hand, if they're jealous of me being around you, and I've never even met them, there's some way they know something about me, and that something is probably mixed with atleast slight feelings you have towards me. I'm not being conceited, but its known by others and is slighty obvious when I'm around. Its fine though....
I find myself going back to this dating site just searching around. I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to find someone worth my time. I try every day to not think about her and how she is finally happy with someone else. I am happy she is happy, and my anger isn't so much about how it's not with me, just the fact it happened so fast and I had to find out throug facebook. Just like all the rest of her friends. Most of which didn't even know she was gay. I just thought I was better than that. I thought I meant more to her but I guess my thoughts aren't what they should be. I wonder if I should even continue thinking anymore or if I should just give up. I don't want to but I don't know what else to do.
I've been hanging out with some friends and there's definitely some thing there, but I don't know if its something that should be acted upon or not. Age and siuations pose problems in a few cases. Its not something that's terribly inappropriate but its still leading to uncertainty. I remember when I was in one of the situations where I'm in love but not allowed to be with the girl. I can't give advice and say give up and move on, because if you have the slightest chance to be with them, you should never let go of them. Ever. Until that day comes where they move away and you'll never see them again. Then you should let go, just to be sane, just to be able to live.
And for another situation, if they cheat once, it'll probably happen again. I can't say drop them the first time without giving them a chance, but my goodness, I hope it doesn't happen again. Not all people are the same, but pretty close to it. On the other hand, if they're jealous of me being around you, and I've never even met them, there's some way they know something about me, and that something is probably mixed with atleast slight feelings you have towards me. I'm not being conceited, but its known by others and is slighty obvious when I'm around. Its fine though....
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Wednesday, July 6, 2011
i dont know what is going on
i dont know exactlyyy what is going on but i know that something happened. something that she is not okay with. I get the basic idea of what happened judging from everything, and i know that she is not ok.
i dont know what to do.
i dont know if there is anything that I can do.
i want to talk to her about everything but she doesn't want to talk about it all which is perfectly understandable.
i dont know exactlyyy what is going on but i know that something happened. something that she is not okay with. I get the basic idea of what happened judging from everything, and i know that she is not ok.
i dont know what to do.
i dont know if there is anything that I can do.
i want to talk to her about everything but she doesn't want to talk about it all which is perfectly understandable.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
just as I'm about to let go, something happens and there is hope yet again. isn't this how it always works?
bertuccis is going amazing =) I'm really happy that I got the job there. although I would love to be able to work more... but I guess crack addicts need more money than anyone else there that have children or loans or cars to pay for...
I just joined a select few with google+ ... it's pretty cool. It's a big mix of facebook and twitter combined. I don't know if it will pick up etc, but I sure hope so! It's pretty cool!
Plus, it automatically had this blog and my youtube account linked to it, so I don't have to think about either typing in the url or clicking on the tabs to get here, it's just up on the side like a constant reminder that I really should be writing everything out everyday.
I love writing, and I don't know why I don't do it more often. I want to say that I don't have time but that's really just a cop out because I am always making time to just play around on my phone or something. so why not take a few minutes and just write about my day?
like yesterday where I attempted to do lots of errands and whatnot. I did do some stuff making it a productive day. but I didn't do nearly as much as I wrote out to do. but as always I made that list and now i have no idea where it is. maybe that's my first problem.. not knowing where the list is of things that I need to do.. therefore I don't remember and I don't do the things that I really need to do. lol po
I guess slowly things are getting checked off... I checked my credit report about twenty minutes ago. It's gone up about 80-90 points!! on one of the reports (since I got all three) it said I was most likely able to be approved for a credit card!! I'm making moves! still not where I want or need it to be, but perhaps if I keep working on it within the next two months, It will go up even more and I could get a credit card or a loan or something and pay off school then go back in the fall.
i discovered the other night when I was figuring out my finances that I'm not going to have enough money to go back to school in the fall which is just a big pain in my ass. I fucking hate it so much and I hate that I have to deal with this shit every fucking year. you can obviously tell how angry I get about this stuff!
i dont know why i write "you" like there is actually someone on the other side of this or anything but whatever.
im still in love with britt and wish i could hold her and make everything in her world better.
I'm going to tell jess that I'm sorry about everything that I did. I think we have finally worked through everything enough to just be there for eachother, without having to sleep with each other like her crazy ex bitch face cunt thinks. ugh she is SO ridicccccc.
wendy has been gone for three weeks now, and she comes back next tuesday. it hasn't been that long I feel that she's been gone, but I've definitely changed my life since she left... with the new job and all. I can't wait to hear her stories... if she even tells them! I feel like she doesn't like talking to me or something. Idk.
I found some letters from her in my car this morning and was reading through them.. they are from last summer.. about how she was trying to get over rosa and everything about how she basically threw me out the window for someone who is terrible etc. and how she likes that I can always make her smile and laugh and stuff. I miss that. I know that what her and I have is very interesting... but I know before she left, we seemed to fight a lot. I don't like fighting with her, let alone anyone. I need to work on that with her. even if it's just to not fight with a friend.
i went to the owl city concert... it was amazingggggggggg.
bertuccis is going amazing =) I'm really happy that I got the job there. although I would love to be able to work more... but I guess crack addicts need more money than anyone else there that have children or loans or cars to pay for...
I just joined a select few with google+ ... it's pretty cool. It's a big mix of facebook and twitter combined. I don't know if it will pick up etc, but I sure hope so! It's pretty cool!
Plus, it automatically had this blog and my youtube account linked to it, so I don't have to think about either typing in the url or clicking on the tabs to get here, it's just up on the side like a constant reminder that I really should be writing everything out everyday.
I love writing, and I don't know why I don't do it more often. I want to say that I don't have time but that's really just a cop out because I am always making time to just play around on my phone or something. so why not take a few minutes and just write about my day?
like yesterday where I attempted to do lots of errands and whatnot. I did do some stuff making it a productive day. but I didn't do nearly as much as I wrote out to do. but as always I made that list and now i have no idea where it is. maybe that's my first problem.. not knowing where the list is of things that I need to do.. therefore I don't remember and I don't do the things that I really need to do. lol po
I guess slowly things are getting checked off... I checked my credit report about twenty minutes ago. It's gone up about 80-90 points!! on one of the reports (since I got all three) it said I was most likely able to be approved for a credit card!! I'm making moves! still not where I want or need it to be, but perhaps if I keep working on it within the next two months, It will go up even more and I could get a credit card or a loan or something and pay off school then go back in the fall.
i discovered the other night when I was figuring out my finances that I'm not going to have enough money to go back to school in the fall which is just a big pain in my ass. I fucking hate it so much and I hate that I have to deal with this shit every fucking year. you can obviously tell how angry I get about this stuff!
i dont know why i write "you" like there is actually someone on the other side of this or anything but whatever.
im still in love with britt and wish i could hold her and make everything in her world better.
I'm going to tell jess that I'm sorry about everything that I did. I think we have finally worked through everything enough to just be there for eachother, without having to sleep with each other like her crazy ex bitch face cunt thinks. ugh she is SO ridicccccc.
wendy has been gone for three weeks now, and she comes back next tuesday. it hasn't been that long I feel that she's been gone, but I've definitely changed my life since she left... with the new job and all. I can't wait to hear her stories... if she even tells them! I feel like she doesn't like talking to me or something. Idk.
I found some letters from her in my car this morning and was reading through them.. they are from last summer.. about how she was trying to get over rosa and everything about how she basically threw me out the window for someone who is terrible etc. and how she likes that I can always make her smile and laugh and stuff. I miss that. I know that what her and I have is very interesting... but I know before she left, we seemed to fight a lot. I don't like fighting with her, let alone anyone. I need to work on that with her. even if it's just to not fight with a friend.
i went to the owl city concert... it was amazingggggggggg.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
SO today was yet another really super busy day. Thankfully I didnt have to go to ryans this morning, but I really dont think it would have been an issue. Although I did stay in Waltham last night... I went to camp training for an hour, then I went to waitress, then I went back to guard the pool. Thankfully there was a thunderstorm so the pool was closed after an hour and a half of being there! It was quite scary, as I am always scared of thunderstorms!
While waitressing, I was asked what I was doing tomorrow night, then invited to go out for Judys birthday. She got an escalade and we are taking it down to Providence to go to a strip club... THIS shall be interesting. I have never been to one before, as, like thunderstorms, I'm quite scared. I don't think I have much to be scared about, but it's still a new thing. I have a meeting tomorrow night but I'm going to try and get out as early as I can. Hopefully it won't be too much of a problem. Ill just say that I have work early in the morning... I am working Saturday though. For my friend at her pool from 10-7. 14 bucks an hour, and then some since I'm doing this last minute and he's super appreciative (the boss). I'm pretty excited for that.
SO making it short since I've already told three people this story cause it's amazing... we were discussing clothing options at work for this club adventure for Judys birthday anddd basically she and chris now know that I'm gay. lol. I was saying that I'd wear a shirt without buttons (a button down open ) and she said "wait you do know that I'm... nevermind" and I said "yes i do, do you know that I am too?" and that really caught her off guard. and chris of course too. needless to say even though she was confused and left, she came back and asked and I told her and chris. She said that I made her job a lot harder now... because I'm attractive and we work with her girlfriend. mwhaha. jk.
Tomorrow night shall be interesting...
I'm going to be initiating two rainbow girls into ES. I'm nervous, especially since I'm still in the middle of learning the ritual. I was going to learn the rest of it last night at work but I left my book at home, so here I sit, watching a movie, and not learning my ritual. I'm such a procrastinator. I seriously wait until the very last moment to do something. I sit here tonight not learning it because I know I have "all day tomorrow" which is not really all day. Just until about 330. Then I go to ryans, the meeting and out for the evening.
I have so many people to call for things such as the doctors bill I shouldn't have to pay for, my school ish. I should probably go to bank of america tomorrow to blow the place up. jk i wouldn't ever do that. But I'm very angry that I went there to close my account, and all the lady did was take the two accounts off-line. WTF is with people these days?!
ok I'm going to go learn... or something.
While waitressing, I was asked what I was doing tomorrow night, then invited to go out for Judys birthday. She got an escalade and we are taking it down to Providence to go to a strip club... THIS shall be interesting. I have never been to one before, as, like thunderstorms, I'm quite scared. I don't think I have much to be scared about, but it's still a new thing. I have a meeting tomorrow night but I'm going to try and get out as early as I can. Hopefully it won't be too much of a problem. Ill just say that I have work early in the morning... I am working Saturday though. For my friend at her pool from 10-7. 14 bucks an hour, and then some since I'm doing this last minute and he's super appreciative (the boss). I'm pretty excited for that.
SO making it short since I've already told three people this story cause it's amazing... we were discussing clothing options at work for this club adventure for Judys birthday anddd basically she and chris now know that I'm gay. lol. I was saying that I'd wear a shirt without buttons (a button down open ) and she said "wait you do know that I'm... nevermind" and I said "yes i do, do you know that I am too?" and that really caught her off guard. and chris of course too. needless to say even though she was confused and left, she came back and asked and I told her and chris. She said that I made her job a lot harder now... because I'm attractive and we work with her girlfriend. mwhaha. jk.
Tomorrow night shall be interesting...
I'm going to be initiating two rainbow girls into ES. I'm nervous, especially since I'm still in the middle of learning the ritual. I was going to learn the rest of it last night at work but I left my book at home, so here I sit, watching a movie, and not learning my ritual. I'm such a procrastinator. I seriously wait until the very last moment to do something. I sit here tonight not learning it because I know I have "all day tomorrow" which is not really all day. Just until about 330. Then I go to ryans, the meeting and out for the evening.
I have so many people to call for things such as the doctors bill I shouldn't have to pay for, my school ish. I should probably go to bank of america tomorrow to blow the place up. jk i wouldn't ever do that. But I'm very angry that I went there to close my account, and all the lady did was take the two accounts off-line. WTF is with people these days?!
ok I'm going to go learn... or something.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
so this evening I witnessed one cat throw up, and walk away, while my cat michael played with a bug on the other side of the screen. He continued playing with it, until he moved directly over the throw up pile, and without knowing, he sat right on top of it. A few seconds later after realizing what had just happened, he slowly raised his bottom, and looked underneath him, as to say "did I just do that?" He raised his bum up all the way, and backed up a little and preceeded to try and cover up "his mess"...mind you he was just standing on a rug, with nothing to cover this up with. He started to walk away seeming confused, and shaking his back legs off to try and get the wet mess off himself.
Mind you, this entire time I was watching this and hysterically laughing silently and crying/holding my stomach because it hurt so bad from laughing. This is what I do for fun at home... Oh and paint my moms nails because she likes my painting better than the professionals at the nail salon =)
I'm going to attempt to read through some ritual before bed. I have initiation Friday night, and I have barely looked at it. Not my usual... well maybe it is. I always seem to pull it off though. I really should just be going to bed now since I have to be up in 7 hours, and won't be able to sleep till about 11 tomorrow night. I love working but I hate being so tired all the time!
I was supposed to be going to Anda's to ride bikes tomorrow... two things are wrong with that. 1) Its going to be (hopefully) realllly hott out tomorrow, I guess too hot to ride bikes... 2) I don't have a bike to bring over. I guess the one that my brother fixed had something break again =( So I'm not sure what we will do tomorrow but I'm bringing my bathing suit in the chance we can go outside and tan or something on the lawn because I don't really have 2 bucks to use the pool area.... Although if I can come up with it, it might be worth it tomorrow.
we will see.
Mind you, this entire time I was watching this and hysterically laughing silently and crying/holding my stomach because it hurt so bad from laughing. This is what I do for fun at home... Oh and paint my moms nails because she likes my painting better than the professionals at the nail salon =)
I'm going to attempt to read through some ritual before bed. I have initiation Friday night, and I have barely looked at it. Not my usual... well maybe it is. I always seem to pull it off though. I really should just be going to bed now since I have to be up in 7 hours, and won't be able to sleep till about 11 tomorrow night. I love working but I hate being so tired all the time!
I was supposed to be going to Anda's to ride bikes tomorrow... two things are wrong with that. 1) Its going to be (hopefully) realllly hott out tomorrow, I guess too hot to ride bikes... 2) I don't have a bike to bring over. I guess the one that my brother fixed had something break again =( So I'm not sure what we will do tomorrow but I'm bringing my bathing suit in the chance we can go outside and tan or something on the lawn because I don't really have 2 bucks to use the pool area.... Although if I can come up with it, it might be worth it tomorrow.
we will see.
There are so many things that I should be doing other than farming right now AHH. Just little things like watching the real l word, the bachelorette, getting the mail (when he comes back to my house, instead of across the street) I want to go for a run. I should get my clothes that I had to hand wash out of the dryer and put the towels in there.
ahh I feel like a little kid right now. Im talking to Catherine Marie Martino right now... ahh i miss her!!! She looks amazing and happy and Im jealous ahh lolll. there are no words.
just like there are no words for the Stanley Cup win.... that game last night was amazing! I would have never guessed the B's would score 8 friggen points!!! ahh so good. lets just hope that they can keep it up tomorrow night!! I will be at work again during the game, so maybe I can catch the end of it when I get home from work. I'm going to shut the womens steam room off early and let the guy shut the guys off mwhaha. or maybe I'll just see if he normally does the womens too once they all leave. hmm.. decisions....
I'm going to get something in my tummy and run prob. even though I really dont have the motivation to.. other than the fact that I want to lose more weight/be more in shape. ahh i gtg now or im never going to go hehe
ahh I feel like a little kid right now. Im talking to Catherine Marie Martino right now... ahh i miss her!!! She looks amazing and happy and Im jealous ahh lolll. there are no words.
just like there are no words for the Stanley Cup win.... that game last night was amazing! I would have never guessed the B's would score 8 friggen points!!! ahh so good. lets just hope that they can keep it up tomorrow night!! I will be at work again during the game, so maybe I can catch the end of it when I get home from work. I'm going to shut the womens steam room off early and let the guy shut the guys off mwhaha. or maybe I'll just see if he normally does the womens too once they all leave. hmm.. decisions....
I'm going to get something in my tummy and run prob. even though I really dont have the motivation to.. other than the fact that I want to lose more weight/be more in shape. ahh i gtg now or im never going to go hehe
Monday, June 6, 2011
um first of all, Seed of Chucky is next... NOT OK.
I had such a tired night tonight! All I did today was work the pool deck (haha) for a few hours but somehow I was just sooo tired.
Tomorrow I am going to finish watching the Real L Word, as well as the Bachelorette!! I really wish that wasn't a show that Britt watched with her... I really need to get over her or something. I'm just so miserable. I hate it. I hate not being able to be with her. I hate so much. It all just makes me cry. I hate having down time because I just constantly think about it all. Ugh.
I had such a tired night tonight! All I did today was work the pool deck (haha) for a few hours but somehow I was just sooo tired.
Tomorrow I am going to finish watching the Real L Word, as well as the Bachelorette!! I really wish that wasn't a show that Britt watched with her... I really need to get over her or something. I'm just so miserable. I hate it. I hate not being able to be with her. I hate so much. It all just makes me cry. I hate having down time because I just constantly think about it all. Ugh.
Farming... I want it to take over my life so I can have mindless hours of clicking to get me through my day... NOT.
It's a really nice day and I can't decide if I want to go outside now to catch some rays or if I should watch the premier of The Real L Word!!! I totally forgot that it started this weekend, so when I was going through the DVR recordings, I got really excited. My parents didn't really get why... so that was a little awkward to explain haha!
I just have work tonight... that means I will be learning my ritual for Friday night!! I am having two girls join OES and I acutually get to walk around with them!! Super exciting! I really need to learn that ritual though!
I signed up for a LOT of free things to be delivered to my house through freebieshark.com. I hope I wont be terrorist attacked now that all these things have my address and whatnot! My friends have done it and they are still alive, so I think I'll be okay.
Apparently my grandmother gave my mother shit for not being invited to my graduation last week... I'm sorry, but would you really come out all the way from Wareham for a 7pm graduation!? NO! Plus, it got out at 1045.... I guess when my mother said this to her, she basically didn't believe it. Oh well. She doesn't take the time to ask ME the one who graduated why I didn't invite my grandparents... Lets see.. I went to my two friends graduations with their parents, so I asked them if they wanted to come to mine with my parents, so thats 4 plus my brother, although my brother decided he didn't want to go, so I gave that ticket to Wendy... and then last second my two friends decided they weren't going to to. OH WELL. ughh.
It's a really nice day and I can't decide if I want to go outside now to catch some rays or if I should watch the premier of The Real L Word!!! I totally forgot that it started this weekend, so when I was going through the DVR recordings, I got really excited. My parents didn't really get why... so that was a little awkward to explain haha!
I just have work tonight... that means I will be learning my ritual for Friday night!! I am having two girls join OES and I acutually get to walk around with them!! Super exciting! I really need to learn that ritual though!
I signed up for a LOT of free things to be delivered to my house through freebieshark.com. I hope I wont be terrorist attacked now that all these things have my address and whatnot! My friends have done it and they are still alive, so I think I'll be okay.
Apparently my grandmother gave my mother shit for not being invited to my graduation last week... I'm sorry, but would you really come out all the way from Wareham for a 7pm graduation!? NO! Plus, it got out at 1045.... I guess when my mother said this to her, she basically didn't believe it. Oh well. She doesn't take the time to ask ME the one who graduated why I didn't invite my grandparents... Lets see.. I went to my two friends graduations with their parents, so I asked them if they wanted to come to mine with my parents, so thats 4 plus my brother, although my brother decided he didn't want to go, so I gave that ticket to Wendy... and then last second my two friends decided they weren't going to to. OH WELL. ughh.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
new job!
SO I suck at keeping up with a blog or anything like it but oh well. idc. =)
I started a new job at Bertuccis this past week... I finished my training on Friday and I took the last two tests today before I was given few tables. I did really well for my first shift at a new job. I didn't have any really serious orders to take or anything like that, and I didn't seem to mess anything up either! Two of my friends came in for dinner and requested to sit in my section. =) That was really a confidence booster! hehe. I think thier order was the most difficult too, which it had every right to be since they were quizzing me beforehand haha. I kept up with the orders and bringing out the food and properly delivering the soups and salads etc. I basically am just always going to ask if they would like salad or soup on the side of their meals cause pretty much, at lunch it comes with salads anyways, and the sandwhichs come with soup. and then at dinner there are a few entrees that come with soup or salad, so if I ask for everything, I either cover the included side order, or I upsell and make more money hehe.
There's this one girl so far that is the bitch apparently. I shouldn't say apparently anymore since I experienced it first hand butttt yeah. I was told by one gabber who was like, "hmmm how should I say this nicely? I don't want to be rude to you". I forced her to just tell me and she just said that this one girl seems to be a bitch to new people slash everyone and she often signs off on side work and stuff, so just make sure that I know what I'm doing. Thankfully she wasn't the person in charge tonight, buttt... all night I had been filling up the ice bin for drinks since it kept running out, and it's not like I saw anyone else do it... that's just who I am. Anywho... it was 8pm and I put one more thing of ice in because there was legitamately maybe 4 ice cubes and so I put only one bucket in which doesn't even fill it one fourth, and I go to ring in an order and she gives me the biggest attitude saying not to fill the ice because thats her job and im just making it harder on her at the end of the night... woopdie fuckin do. stfu. you'reuglykthanksbye.
my feet hurt but I took some ibuprofin and a beer haha. now im on farmville. mwhahah.
wendy left for PR this morning...its weird not having her around. it hasn't really set in yet. She is supposed to call me back.... its almost midnight. I dont know when she is planning on calling me but whatevss.
tomorrow I just have to work at 6 till close at the pool, tuesday I have off, wednesday I'm workingg 2 to close, thursday im working with ryan at 615, then bsc 10 to 1120, then berts 1130 to 3 then bsc 3 to 6..... thank GOD I'm working right next to everything!! I think after ryan Im going to go and sleep a little. perhaps I'll go to wendys and sleep so I wont be late and have to drive through so much traffic!
so yes, busy busy. I'm going to try and keep up with this since its not like I have anyone to vent to or anything... I really hate being by myself. =(
I Miss britt like its my job. I try and stay strong and not bother her and pour my heart out because i feel pathetic, but she says she doesn't mind, but I don't know if that's just pushing her away blahhhhhhh.
farmville time...
I started a new job at Bertuccis this past week... I finished my training on Friday and I took the last two tests today before I was given few tables. I did really well for my first shift at a new job. I didn't have any really serious orders to take or anything like that, and I didn't seem to mess anything up either! Two of my friends came in for dinner and requested to sit in my section. =) That was really a confidence booster! hehe. I think thier order was the most difficult too, which it had every right to be since they were quizzing me beforehand haha. I kept up with the orders and bringing out the food and properly delivering the soups and salads etc. I basically am just always going to ask if they would like salad or soup on the side of their meals cause pretty much, at lunch it comes with salads anyways, and the sandwhichs come with soup. and then at dinner there are a few entrees that come with soup or salad, so if I ask for everything, I either cover the included side order, or I upsell and make more money hehe.
There's this one girl so far that is the bitch apparently. I shouldn't say apparently anymore since I experienced it first hand butttt yeah. I was told by one gabber who was like, "hmmm how should I say this nicely? I don't want to be rude to you". I forced her to just tell me and she just said that this one girl seems to be a bitch to new people slash everyone and she often signs off on side work and stuff, so just make sure that I know what I'm doing. Thankfully she wasn't the person in charge tonight, buttt... all night I had been filling up the ice bin for drinks since it kept running out, and it's not like I saw anyone else do it... that's just who I am. Anywho... it was 8pm and I put one more thing of ice in because there was legitamately maybe 4 ice cubes and so I put only one bucket in which doesn't even fill it one fourth, and I go to ring in an order and she gives me the biggest attitude saying not to fill the ice because thats her job and im just making it harder on her at the end of the night... woopdie fuckin do. stfu. you'reuglykthanksbye.
my feet hurt but I took some ibuprofin and a beer haha. now im on farmville. mwhahah.
wendy left for PR this morning...its weird not having her around. it hasn't really set in yet. She is supposed to call me back.... its almost midnight. I dont know when she is planning on calling me but whatevss.
tomorrow I just have to work at 6 till close at the pool, tuesday I have off, wednesday I'm workingg 2 to close, thursday im working with ryan at 615, then bsc 10 to 1120, then berts 1130 to 3 then bsc 3 to 6..... thank GOD I'm working right next to everything!! I think after ryan Im going to go and sleep a little. perhaps I'll go to wendys and sleep so I wont be late and have to drive through so much traffic!
so yes, busy busy. I'm going to try and keep up with this since its not like I have anyone to vent to or anything... I really hate being by myself. =(
I Miss britt like its my job. I try and stay strong and not bother her and pour my heart out because i feel pathetic, but she says she doesn't mind, but I don't know if that's just pushing her away blahhhhhhh.
farmville time...
Sunday, April 24, 2011
tomorrow I'm going to try and start a diet.. I should be 12 lbs lighter than I currently am... im going to wake up and go for a run if it's nice out... idc what I wear... that's always usually the problem. It needs to stop being an excuse (cause thats really what it is)
I have work at 1... so afterward I'm going to swim.. or just in between work and Kartwheels like I did last week.. that was a good half an hour of swimming. I'm not going to try and breath on my right side though... I always intake water and it stops me. I need to be more proactive. Enough BSing things... ew Beth Sugarman... I saw her fb profile today.. it said for activities "D*** S******" Gross.
I have work at 1... so afterward I'm going to swim.. or just in between work and Kartwheels like I did last week.. that was a good half an hour of swimming. I'm not going to try and breath on my right side though... I always intake water and it stops me. I need to be more proactive. Enough BSing things... ew Beth Sugarman... I saw her fb profile today.. it said for activities "D*** S******" Gross.
i dislike not having a desk of any sort... my body hurts way too much from sitting in my bed all the time trying to do homework and whatnot. I seriously either sit on my behind with my legs straight out... causing my butt to KILL, or I cross my legs Criss Cross Apple Sauce style and then my hips get all out of place...its NOT okay!!!
I just cannot wait for school to be over and the Summer to start... Hopefully I can find something else to do for an income...
I just cannot wait for school to be over and the Summer to start... Hopefully I can find something else to do for an income...
I really need to stop crying, and stop caring so much, and stop getting so attached to people. Especially when I know I shouldn't be getting attached to them but I still do, and then it ends up destroying my heart.
I feel the whole room spinning right now and I don't want to stop it. It's such the strangest feeling; not the first time it's felt like this though either. I don't know what I'm doing; neither does anyone else. What does that even mean? I know I'm making a fool out of myself, but that doesn't make me want to stop. You don't think I'm making a fool though... but you're still talking to other girls. So what is it?
AND why has my cat been playing with a FURBALL for the past two hours?!?!?! It's the weirdest thing..ever.
I feel the whole room spinning right now and I don't want to stop it. It's such the strangest feeling; not the first time it's felt like this though either. I don't know what I'm doing; neither does anyone else. What does that even mean? I know I'm making a fool out of myself, but that doesn't make me want to stop. You don't think I'm making a fool though... but you're still talking to other girls. So what is it?
AND why has my cat been playing with a FURBALL for the past two hours?!?!?! It's the weirdest thing..ever.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Procrastinating
Somehow when there is a LOT of work to be done, one always finds other things that are far less important to do instead. This is the first time all semester that I've actually had a bunch of things to do and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything.
Instead, I am poking around on blogs, playing Words with Friends on my new phone, and listening to the radio loudly while drinking a beer. Keep in mind I don't normally drink beer, but since I had a little get together this past weekend, there were extra drinks, so they must be drank. =) (This is the second night that I've just grabbed a beer or two..it's very not like me!)
As for Words with Friends... I've never been too good at scrabble... so I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided to get an account here and show all my friends and any random person that I'm not any good... But it's worth the time.
Ugh I've really got to do this work.. I can't believe it's already 930...
Instead, I am poking around on blogs, playing Words with Friends on my new phone, and listening to the radio loudly while drinking a beer. Keep in mind I don't normally drink beer, but since I had a little get together this past weekend, there were extra drinks, so they must be drank. =) (This is the second night that I've just grabbed a beer or two..it's very not like me!)
As for Words with Friends... I've never been too good at scrabble... so I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided to get an account here and show all my friends and any random person that I'm not any good... But it's worth the time.
Ugh I've really got to do this work.. I can't believe it's already 930...
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year.
This year we all really need to focus on ourselves. There has been so much drama in 2010, it needs to stay in 2010. That's a silly saying really, since it's just another date. But it's true; Drama needs to stay in last year.
Part of focusing on ourselves includes our health. Pay attention to the things we eat, and try and be as active as possible. Every bit helps. Even if you can't afford the ridiculous membership fees of a gym by you, or you don't have the "time" to go there etc. Walk your dog...he needs it too. Walk with your kids...they'll never know they will be tired when they get home and have to go right to bed (hehe). There needs to be something you can do to stay active.
Love. Love yourself before anything else. And when you can do that, you can love someone else. Give them all the love you can give them, making sure you have love for you too. Most of the time, when you love someone with all that you've got, they will do the same back. (Talk about this first though, don't start stalking someone that doesn't even know you're alive.) Come out with your true feelings, and if they don't feel that way, then move on. Don't dwell over something like that. You're only going to be hurting yourself. And if it's meant to be, it will indeed be. I learned that the long way. And I am so happy that I hung onto that little bit I could for as long as I did. =)
As I start the third day in the new year, it's off to a good start. Woke up without an alarm, full of energy. Going to make breakfast, go to the bank, apply to a job, write a resumé, and go to work. After work, Wings with some awesome girls!! It's been far too long since we were all together....I'm so excited!!!
Part of focusing on ourselves includes our health. Pay attention to the things we eat, and try and be as active as possible. Every bit helps. Even if you can't afford the ridiculous membership fees of a gym by you, or you don't have the "time" to go there etc. Walk your dog...he needs it too. Walk with your kids...they'll never know they will be tired when they get home and have to go right to bed (hehe). There needs to be something you can do to stay active.
Love. Love yourself before anything else. And when you can do that, you can love someone else. Give them all the love you can give them, making sure you have love for you too. Most of the time, when you love someone with all that you've got, they will do the same back. (Talk about this first though, don't start stalking someone that doesn't even know you're alive.) Come out with your true feelings, and if they don't feel that way, then move on. Don't dwell over something like that. You're only going to be hurting yourself. And if it's meant to be, it will indeed be. I learned that the long way. And I am so happy that I hung onto that little bit I could for as long as I did. =)
As I start the third day in the new year, it's off to a good start. Woke up without an alarm, full of energy. Going to make breakfast, go to the bank, apply to a job, write a resumé, and go to work. After work, Wings with some awesome girls!! It's been far too long since we were all together....I'm so excited!!!
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