My Family

Is crazy. No matter what, there's always a friggin argument about something. I've been on vacation with them the past week... and its been something not out of the ordinary that's for sure! Every day is something different. It just makes me want to move out more and more. I want to start my own life with my own family sooner than later. I know this isn't possible though, seeing how I'm turning 23 on Monday, far too young to have my own family. Other than my age, I still have two more years of school to put myself through. I wanted to earn at least three thousand this summer to pay off last semester and go back in the fall, but that simply wasn't going to happen. I have to drive at least half an hour every morning and then again every evening to get out to Waltham to my jobs. That's at least seven hours of driving a week for work, never mind when I go to a friends house that's at least 45 minites away. I know my lifestyle costs more than I can afford, but it's the least I can do for myself since I've worked almost everyday of my life since I was 14... now if only I had something to show for my hard word other than ex girlfriends closets and a new phone...

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Poolside<3

Sitting by the pool listening to the lil kiddies yelling yet having a great time. Meanwhile, I'm working on fixing my tan I acquired while running with Nicole today. I've now wonderful bra strap and racerback tan lines.. not part of my bikini tan.....

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Par 2 : d2 t3 m4. Par 2: m2 d3 t2 par 2: m4 d5 t2 par 2: d1 t2 m2. Par 2: d2 m2 t2 par 2: t5 m2 d2 par2: d2 m2 t5 par:2 m2 t2 d2 par 2: m2 d2 t5 par2: d5 t5 m5 par3: t3 m3 d3 par3: t5 m3 d2 par2: d2 t2 m5 par 2: t3 d2 m2 par2 m4t4d4 par 2: t2 d 3 m 2 par 3: t3 d5 m3 par 2: t2 d2 m5.

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school urges

I've always been one to really enjoy being in school learning and challenging myself. I'm currently on vacation enjoying time off from my four jobs, but even still I am absolutely bored most of the time!! Today I started thinking about how badly I want to be back in school. Then I thought about that time is about 4 months away, since I do not have 3 thousand dollars to pay last semester off and return for this upcoming fall. I had every plan to work four jobs and earn the money I need to continue right in the fall, but I'm afraid all the driving I do ia taking away from being able to do this. I spoke to my boss at Bertuccis about needing more hours and he told me whatever I want I can have. So I'm hoping I can get a bunch of doubles so I can just work all day there and not have to break my day up and go out to Waltham every single day. As much as I enjoy the driving time to myself...my bank account is a little lonely.... we will see.

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Getting back on my feet...

Although I wanted to run everyday that I'm on vacation, I missed two days. I've decided its ok though. I just did a 9 minute mile which I know is nothing to brag about, but it's good for me!! I went down this road right from my timeshare, and this one wasn't all up hill. It was nice and flat, allowing me to enjoy the run rather than want to kill myself.

I was able to walk for a bit through a nice area, listening to the bugs make whatever noises they make. There was a small blue butterfly that started flying next to me once I passed by. It was very cute :)

The picture is the road I was able to travel down. Much better than my hilly trip on Sunday!!

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Three very different pictures from the day. I love living in New England!!

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Vacation

So Im on vacation and although the first few hours being here was terrible, its gotten better. :) Today started at the pool, then we moved to a lake up the street. I got a lot of color laying on my float floating around :) As soon as we got back, it started thunderstorming. I got a small video of it.. quite scary!! I've been inside watching tv for about an hour now, and I'm bored as heck!!!! Someone give me something to do!

I find myself going back to this dating site just searching around. I wonder if I'm ever going to be able to find someone worth my time. I try every day to not think about her and how she is finally happy with someone else. I am happy she is happy, and my anger isn't so much about how it's not with me, just the fact it happened so fast and I had to find out throug facebook. Just like all the rest of her friends. Most of which didn't even know she was gay. I just thought I was better than that. I thought I meant more to her but I guess my thoughts aren't what they should be. I wonder if I should even continue thinking anymore or if I should just give up. I don't want to but I don't know what else to do.

I've been hanging out with some friends and there's definitely some thing there, but I don't know if its something that should be acted upon or not. Age and siuations pose problems in a few cases. Its not something that's terribly inappropriate but its still leading to uncertainty. I remember when I was in one of the situations where I'm in love but not allowed to be with the girl. I can't give advice and say give up and move on, because if you have the slightest chance to be with them, you should never let go of them. Ever. Until that day comes where they move away and you'll never see them again. Then you should let go, just to be sane, just to be able to live.

And for another situation, if they cheat once, it'll probably happen again. I can't say drop them the first time without giving them a chance, but my goodness, I hope it doesn't happen again. Not all people are the same, but pretty close to it. On the other hand, if they're jealous of me being around you, and I've never even met them, there's some way they know something about me, and that something is probably mixed with atleast slight feelings you have towards me. I'm not being conceited, but its known by others and is slighty obvious when I'm around. Its fine though....

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i dont know what is going on

i dont know exactlyyy what is going on but i know that something happened. something that she is not okay with. I get the basic idea of what happened judging from everything, and i know that she is not ok.

i dont know what to do.
i dont know if there is anything that I can do.

i want to talk to her about everything but she doesn't want to talk about it all which is perfectly understandable.